A Very Volatile Valentines Day
by Dcfan100
Summary: There's a very good reason why 5th dimensional reality warpers shouldn't get involved in shipping. A set of one-shots all strung together, Green Arrow with Black Canary, Aquaman with Mera and more!


**This story has been in the planning stage since forever. I think I actually wanted to write it the very first year I joined this site, i just never got around to it and the design and themes in the story really do reflect those in my early stories. It's basically just a short collection of vignettes that aren't long enough to stand on their own but all kinda strung together by out favorite fifth dimensional trickster. So without further ado I present the story! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Hmm, four years on this site and I still don't own Batman the Brave and the Bold...maybe it's me...**

"Ah Valentines Day!" a curtain draws open as a small impish figure pops onto the scene. "A holiday commemorated to the brutal martyrdom of the patron saint of lovers! Of course, what's Valentines day without romance, love interests and cheesy dialogue?! Nothing! So come along with your humble host, me, Batmite! As we explore this wonderful world of passion and courtship! Hang on!" The stage and curtain crumble away leaving only a large swirling portal of red, pink and purple shaped hearts sucking everything in before it all goes black.

* * *

"Mera! My dear, my sweet, my queen! Please! I implore, nay I beg you…" the brash and boisterous King of the Sea stood on his knees with his hands clasped together in front of his disapproving wife.

"Arthur," Mera sighed. "You know how I feel about these events."

"But it's a Meta-Human Ball just for people like us on Valentines Day! Hosted by the esteemed Bruce Wayne! He's a very prominent surface dweller!" Aquaman continued to beg.

"I don't like getting all dressed up just to go onto land. And then there are your colleagues…" she continued.

"Fire has apologized multiple time for the incident," Aquaman coaxed "Beside my beautiful sea pearl, the gem of Atlantis…"

"Arthur, that worked when I was in high school, it won't work now," Mera said skeptically.

"Please…?" Aquaman tried once, more giving her dolphin eyes.

"I have a headache," was her only reply as she turned towards the stairs of their classically designed Atlantian home. Aquaman lowered his arms in defeat.

"If that's your final answer," he conceded. "I only keep persisting because I fell in love with a beautiful woman all those years ago and I wanted to continue to celebrate out love, maybe to just go out and do something special tonight…" Mera looked at him again and sighed.

"Just one dance," she smiled taking his head. An enormous grin split Aquamans face as he jumped up pumping his fist into the air.

"OUTRAGEOUS!" The scene paused, complete with old VCR lines running across the picture as Batmites head popped back onto the scene.

"Ah, the Old Married Couple, they're as sweet as sugar and more canon than your PARENTS!" the imp finished with a scream before raising a remote and pressing the channel button.

* * *

"Dinah!" an impatient voice yelled again. Oliver Queen, aka Green Arrow turned again to admire his blue eyed blonde haired smile in the mirror again. "C'mon we're gonna be late!"

"Don't rush me Ollie," came the soothing melodic reply.

"You always tell me that, and we always end up running late!" he shouted back, the voice marked by even more impatience than before.

"Well maybe if you'd just let me prepare in peace," Dinah called back, her voice also rising in tone.

"Women," Oliver groaned, unfortunately loud enough for the houses other occupant to hear?

"What'd you say?" came the quick reply.

"Nothing!" Oliver corrected himself.

"That's what I thought." Oliver moaned, to himself this time as he collapsed onto his couch. Why'd he put himself through this torture again? Waiting for this girl to primp all day long just to dress up, eat fancy food and attend this big ball with the same people and chatter about the same old news?

He unconsciously raised his hand a bit on the couches armrest. He glanced at it and spied the bejeweled ring on his fourth finger. He smiled, a big goofy smile. Yeah, that was a pretty good reason in and of itself.

"There, I'm ready," Dinah said somewhat crossly. The small frown on her face quickly melted away though as her husband spied her dress. The dark floor length dress was quite beautiful and if she were to brag, she'd say it complimented her curves quite nicely. "Like it?" she asked.

"I…uh…mmm, guhh, uh huh," was all that Oliver managed to sputter out. Slowly he took her arm as they walked towards the door. "Is, it new?" he asked, smiling.

"Well almost, I've only worn this once, when I was with Batman." Oliver stopped dead in his tracks.

"Wait? What? You've been out with Batman? When was this? What did you do!?" he demanded. Dinah just kept walking as an ever bigger smile crossed over her face.

"C'mon Ollie," she said playfully mocking him. "We're gonna be late." Just then the scene paused once again.

"BTBATB's official power couple!" Batmite shouts at the top of his lungs. "If ever there were two superheroes more in love…hmm, a thought strikes me!" there was a dramatic Shakespearean pause. "What about the non-super powered couples?"

* * *

"Five minutes Captain," a gravely voice chuckled as the audible cock of a gun was heard. "If the government doesn't comply with my demands by then, this whole city and you go up in smoke."

"Gee, that's funny Deadshot," came the calm nonchalant voice. The figure was tied to a large antenna with the obligatory bomb attached to it. "Five minutes is all I have until my next big engagement. And I don't mean my death."

"What are you blabbering on about Trevor?" the villain asked scathingly, jamming a gun into the agent's cheek. Steve Trevor grimaced but still managed to smile.

"I've got a little backup." Deadshot simply motioned to their surroundings.

"What? You're little friends in the CIA? We're on top of Coast Cities metro tower surrounded by motion sensor bombs, power to the entire towers been cut so no one's getting in from the ground. Not in time to save the city anyway. On top of that it's a cloudy night and I'm operating the nations latest in anti-aircraft weapons technology, you'd have to be an idiot to try and attempt a rescue from the air."

"Either that or bullet proof," Trevor grinned. Deadshot paused nervously giving Steve a dangerous look from beneath his mask.

"Don't mess with me? The top CIA agents don't have Superman on speed dial, much less a low captain like you!" he said quickly with a hint of hesitation in his voice.

"No," Steve said with a cocky smile raising an eyebrow. "I have one better." There was a step behind Deadshot. The man spun and pointed his dual pistols at the intruder. Quick as a flash he felt them snatched out of his hands and watched as the pieces clattered onto the floor. A small slap to the face sent him sprawling onto the ground as a tall broad woman stepped forward glaring at the floored and now unconscious.

"Are you okay Steve?" she asked with sweet and sudden concern.

"Perfect, now that you're here angel," he grinned. Wonder Woman nodded before eyeing the chains and then the bomb carefully.

"Think we'll still be able to make the ball?" Steve questioned still as nonchalant as ever.

"Of course," Wonder Woman said concentrating on her job as she slowly disconnected the red wire, tore out the circuitry from the back of the bomb and launched it into the night sky. She walked back to the antenna and tore the chains apart.

"Why do I always have to pull you out of the fire?" she sighed catching him as he fell.

"Y'know?" Steve grinned as he leaned backwards in her arms. "I don't know why I still bother investigating at all if you're just gonna save the day."

"You know you love it," Wonder Woman grinned flying off in the direction of Gotham holding her boyfriend. For a third time the screen paused as slowly, ever so slowly Batmite rises up into view, skeptically scratching his chin.

"Can't the man take care of himself? Why is it that Wonder Woman always has to save the secret agent in distress?" Batmite wiggles his eyebrows at the screen. "Who says DC doesn't have strong female characters? The reversal of roles, a classic DC shipping! Of course the night wouldn't be complete if I didn't throw in one of my own personal favorites…"

* * *

"The large chronal disturbance came from around here sir," the small golden robot observed settling onto a rooftop. Booster Gold dropped down and lazily surveyed the skyline.

"Well let's just find it and get out of here," he said grumpily. If Skeets had a face, the look would have been quite the inquisitive one.

"Sir, I know you're upset about not getting a date for that Meta-Human Ball but chronal disturbances are extremely rare and can be ext…"

"Extremely dangerous, super villains can use them to affect the space time continuum, yaddda yadda, I know let's just find it and be done with…hold the communicator! Who is that?" the egotistic Hero of the Future asked raising his glasses to observe a figure down in the alleyway below them.

"That's Zatanna sir," Skeets said doing a quick scan of the women waving her wand around and staring strangely at the air. "Justice League's magician, she's probably re-interpreted the chronal disturbance as something supernatural and has…" Booster was long gone by this point.

"Hey there baby, you cast any spells as of late? Because I think I'm totally under yours," Booster Gold proposed in his dashing devil may care voice.

"Don't touch me Booster," came no-nonsense reply. Booster's shoulders drooped as he sighed at another failed attempt. There was a sudden shift in the wind as Skeet's alarm began to sound.

"Sir! Sir I'm picking up some strange other dimensional energy! Sir?" Skeets looked down at the two heroes, who were suddenly and totally enamored with each other. Looking deeply into each other's eye, touching noses…making kissy faces? Skeet's computer brain tried furiously to process this sudden development.

"So you're from the future Mr. Hero Man?" Zatanna asked in a sultry voice holding up a hand. "Tell me, do you see a ring in mine?"

"Behold! Zatanna X Booster Gold – The pairing who've never even met but will be paired anyway!" Bat-Mite yells popping into the air above the two, hurriedly writing down cheesy pick-ups lines into a large book.

"Batmite!" a familiar dark voice called out. The imp paused and spun around to face the one and only Caped Crusader.

"Batman!" he cried out appearing in front of his idol. "How's your little meta human ball going? With a little more of my inter dimensional magic you can be sure it's going to be the most romantic one yet!"

"You need to stop toying with others emotions, this isn't your own personal playground." Was the stoic response.

"What are you talking about? It's just a little harmless fiction, I'll put it all back when I'm done!" Batmites face dropped as the book disappeared.

"That's just the point, this isn't fiction. We don't need a crazed fan running around warping reality and taking away free will, because that's the thing that makes love worthwhile. It's your own, independent choice to love that special someone and if you just going around pairing them regardless of their emotions you've taken away everything that made it love in the first place." Batman replied, crossing his arms as he slowly explained. Batmite looked at him curiously as he mulled this logic over his head. Finally, he looked up sheepishly and sighed.

"Wow…I, never thought of it that way. Of course you're right as always Batma…hey! I know what this is about! You're upset because I'm shipping Diana with Steve isn't it?" Batmite piqued up.

"I'm not upset," Batman said simply.

"Well just wait until you see the New 52." Batmite wiggled his eyebrows again.

"The what?" Batman asked in a voice so flat you could've made a cobblestone out of it.

"Oh, never mind I see what you're saying Batman, just remember…Amazons love to feel in charge!" and with a giggle that fell somewhere between malicious and certifiably psychotic Bat-Mite snapped his fingers and disappeared. Batman just shook his head as he continued to stare up at the night sky.

"Did you get rid of him?" Catwoman asked peeking out of the shadows. The feline temptress jumped elegantly from her perch and down beside Batman.

"I think so…I hope so," the Dark Knight smiled looking at her. Catwoman purred slowly sliding a hand behind his head. Their cowls touched as in the distance a slow tune drifted from the meta-human ball. Serenely, under the moonlight the two slid closer to each other and brushed there lips together.

Meanwhile, from the fifth dimension Batmite watched the scene unfold from his couch. He turns to face the audience and wiggles his eyebrows one last time.

"Happy Valentines Day everyone, keep on shipping! I know I will!" and with another maniacal laugh the screen goes black.

**Happy Valentines Day indeed ^_^ Thanks for reading! Reviews are welcome, flames are not.**


End file.
